Sunday, March 25, 2012

5 things i've been doing


this post is text heavy.
you've been warned.
anyway, i've been keeping myself busy.
doing what? well, read on, reader!

5 NEW THINGS I'VE DONE IN THE LAST MONTH (or so)

1. acupuncture
i had some money in a healthcare spending account that needed to be spent; it was a use-it-or-lose-it situation. so i bought a billion bandaids and about fifty-three bottles of contact solution.
then i decided to try 2 sessions of acupuncture. you know, just to see what it was like.
the first appointment was with a soft-spoken woman, who was very calm and soothing. i left feeling pretty much the same, but looking forward to the next session.
the second time was a week later, with a grandfatherly gentleman who only spoke chinese. after he established that my broken chinese would be enough for acceptable communication, he began stabbing away with gusto.

acupuncturist: so. you're so old now, why aren't you married?
me: uh, well i mean, i feel like i've still got a lot of things to accomplish before i get married—
acupuncturist: at your age, all that's left is to have kids.
me: right. well, i'm sure i'll have kids someday...um, that kind of hurts...
acupuncturist: it's fine. aren't your parents disappointed in you?
me: uh, yeah probably. but they're used to disappointment by now. hey are you sure i'm ok? and how are you sticking these needles in? with a hammer??
acupuncturist: please. stop squirming.
me: i'm pretty sure i'm bleeding from the head.
acupuncturist: you're fine. now please. stay still.

after i finally escaped, i called my mom to detail the horrors that i'd endured.
she laughed at me.

and so ended my adventures in acupuncture.
i have not been back.

2. new rotation at work
i rotated to a new function at work recently. new jobs are one of the top predators of self esteem. i'm constantly in a state of high confusion and mild panic.

standard conversation:
coworker: the customer called and requested reports A, B and C.
me: oh. cool.
coworker: ...
me: oh, i mean...uh...is that something that we do here?
coworker: yes. actually, more specifically, that's something that you do here.
me: crap.


but the worst part about rotating to a new job is getting my new team used to my insane eating habits.

new team convo:
coworker: what are you doing?
me: eating pizza.
coworker: ...didn't you just have lunch?
me: dude, that was like a whole hour ago.
coworker: ...have you seen a doctor about this?

old team convo:
coworker: good morning! what are you eating for breakfast?
me: spaghetti.
coworker: cool.

it's a long process.

3. invisalign
last month, i decided to get invisalign to straighten up my teeth. thought my grill could use a little work.
while they are fairly invisible (no one's checking out my chompers that closely anyway) and not painful at all, i am extremely unhappy.
why?
because invisalign is a series of clear plastic forms that you wear on your teeth. all.the.time. EXCEPT when brushing your teeth or eating. they recommend you wear them 22 hours per day.
waaaaaaaaaaaat? because i am a slow eater, it is physically impossible for me to eat enough to sustain myself for a whole day in less than two hours. now instead of constantly grazing throughout the day, i've taken to periodic binge eating. it's awful. i'm learning to snarf food like a rabid monkey.
 
not sexy.


4. photography class
it's been over two years since i've had my digital SLR, so i figure now's a good time to figure out how to you know, use it. i signed up for a beginners class, and it's going well so far.

teacher: so, what are we working with here?
me: um, this is a canon.
teacher: what kind of canon?
me: ...a digital canon.
teacher: ...right. let's just move on, shall we?

5. hot yoga
i've never done yoga before, so of course it makes sense to jump straight to yoga in a room kept at 110 degrees. despite the fact that my body is built for yoga like it's built for being stabbed in the head, i have found it to be fairly enjoyable. the studio i go to is not scary nor judgemental, nor run by militant yoga junkies wallowing in their own snooty condescension, which is a plus in my book.

so, that concludes my list of 5 things i've done this month.
anyone else doing new things? i'm open to any and all suggestions for next month.


4 comments:

Ann said...

That sounds like quite the stressful month, but it does make for amusing blog chatter. :)

Laura said...

I just bought a digital SLR... hoping it takes me less then 2 years to figure it out!

Your adventures sound interesting if not always enjoyable. :)

Anonymous said...

Oh you are so going to a hot yoga class with me at the hot yoga/boxing ring/wrestling training gym next to my place. The guys are not judgemental or snooty but you might die. The rap music during yoga(yes, it's rap remixed with a yoga influene) keeps you awake enough so you don't faint.

BellsInSpires said...

@ Ann: hah! yes this past month has been insane. but that's what keeps things interesting :D

@ Laura: have fun with your new camera! and i'm sure you'll get the hang of it soon. i'm just special, and am very slow to learn new things. ;)

@ Anonymous: i'm going to assume this is you, sheehan. and that sounds terrifying. let's do it!

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