Sunday, March 25, 2012

5 things i've been doing

this post is text heavy.
you've been warned.
anyway, i've been keeping myself busy.
doing what? well, read on, reader!


1. acupuncture
i had some money in a healthcare spending account that needed to be spent; it was a use-it-or-lose-it situation. so i bought a billion bandaids and about fifty-three bottles of contact solution.
then i decided to try 2 sessions of acupuncture. you know, just to see what it was like.
the first appointment was with a soft-spoken woman, who was very calm and soothing. i left feeling pretty much the same, but looking forward to the next session.
the second time was a week later, with a grandfatherly gentleman who only spoke chinese. after he established that my broken chinese would be enough for acceptable communication, he began stabbing away with gusto.

acupuncturist: so. you're so old now, why aren't you married?
me: uh, well i mean, i feel like i've still got a lot of things to accomplish before i get married—
acupuncturist: at your age, all that's left is to have kids.
me: right. well, i'm sure i'll have kids, that kind of hurts...
acupuncturist: it's fine. aren't your parents disappointed in you?
me: uh, yeah probably. but they're used to disappointment by now. hey are you sure i'm ok? and how are you sticking these needles in? with a hammer??
acupuncturist: please. stop squirming.
me: i'm pretty sure i'm bleeding from the head.
acupuncturist: you're fine. now please. stay still.

after i finally escaped, i called my mom to detail the horrors that i'd endured.
she laughed at me.

and so ended my adventures in acupuncture.
i have not been back.

2. new rotation at work
i rotated to a new function at work recently. new jobs are one of the top predators of self esteem. i'm constantly in a state of high confusion and mild panic.

standard conversation:
coworker: the customer called and requested reports A, B and C.
me: oh. cool.
coworker: ...
me: oh, i that something that we do here?
coworker: yes. actually, more specifically, that's something that you do here.
me: crap.

but the worst part about rotating to a new job is getting my new team used to my insane eating habits.

new team convo:
coworker: what are you doing?
me: eating pizza.
coworker: ...didn't you just have lunch?
me: dude, that was like a whole hour ago.
coworker: ...have you seen a doctor about this?

old team convo:
coworker: good morning! what are you eating for breakfast?
me: spaghetti.
coworker: cool.

it's a long process.

3. invisalign
last month, i decided to get invisalign to straighten up my teeth. thought my grill could use a little work.
while they are fairly invisible (no one's checking out my chompers that closely anyway) and not painful at all, i am extremely unhappy.
because invisalign is a series of clear plastic forms that you wear on your teeth. all.the.time. EXCEPT when brushing your teeth or eating. they recommend you wear them 22 hours per day.
waaaaaaaaaaaat? because i am a slow eater, it is physically impossible for me to eat enough to sustain myself for a whole day in less than two hours. now instead of constantly grazing throughout the day, i've taken to periodic binge eating. it's awful. i'm learning to snarf food like a rabid monkey.
not sexy.

4. photography class
it's been over two years since i've had my digital SLR, so i figure now's a good time to figure out how to you know, use it. i signed up for a beginners class, and it's going well so far.

teacher: so, what are we working with here?
me: um, this is a canon.
teacher: what kind of canon?
me: ...a digital canon.
teacher: ...right. let's just move on, shall we?

5. hot yoga
i've never done yoga before, so of course it makes sense to jump straight to yoga in a room kept at 110 degrees. despite the fact that my body is built for yoga like it's built for being stabbed in the head, i have found it to be fairly enjoyable. the studio i go to is not scary nor judgemental, nor run by militant yoga junkies wallowing in their own snooty condescension, which is a plus in my book.

so, that concludes my list of 5 things i've done this month.
anyone else doing new things? i'm open to any and all suggestions for next month.


Ann said...

That sounds like quite the stressful month, but it does make for amusing blog chatter. :)

Laura said...

I just bought a digital SLR... hoping it takes me less then 2 years to figure it out!

Your adventures sound interesting if not always enjoyable. :)

Anonymous said...

Oh you are so going to a hot yoga class with me at the hot yoga/boxing ring/wrestling training gym next to my place. The guys are not judgemental or snooty but you might die. The rap music during yoga(yes, it's rap remixed with a yoga influene) keeps you awake enough so you don't faint.

BellsInSpires said...

@ Ann: hah! yes this past month has been insane. but that's what keeps things interesting :D

@ Laura: have fun with your new camera! and i'm sure you'll get the hang of it soon. i'm just special, and am very slow to learn new things. ;)

@ Anonymous: i'm going to assume this is you, sheehan. and that sounds terrifying. let's do it!

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