anyway, i've been keeping myself busy. doing what? well, read on, reader!
5 NEW THINGS I'VE DONE IN THE LAST MONTH (or so)
i had some money in a healthcare spending account that needed to be spent; it was a use-it-or-lose-it situation. so i bought a billion bandaids and about fifty-three bottles of contact solution.
then i decided to try 2 sessions of acupuncture. you know, just to see what it was like. the first appointment was with a soft-spoken woman, who was very calm and soothing. i left feeling pretty much the same, but looking forward to the next session. the second time was a week later, with a grandfatherly gentleman who only spoke chinese. after he established that my broken chinese would be enough for acceptable communication, he began stabbing away with gusto.
acupuncturist: so. you're so old now, why aren't you married? me: uh, well i mean, i feel like i've still got a lot of things to accomplish before i get married— acupuncturist: at your age, all that's left is to have kids. me: right. well, i'm sure i'll have kids someday...um, that kind of hurts... acupuncturist: it's fine. aren't your parents disappointed in you? me: uh, yeah probably. but they're used to disappointment by now. hey are you sure i'm ok? and how are you sticking these needles in? with a hammer?? acupuncturist: please. stop squirming. me: i'm pretty sure i'm bleeding from the head. acupuncturist: you're fine. now please. stay still.
after i finally escaped, i called my mom to detail the horrors that i'd endured. she laughed at me.
and so ended my adventures in acupuncture. i have not been back.
2. new rotation at work i rotated to a new function at work recently. new jobs are one of the top predators of self esteem. i'm constantly in a state of high confusion and mild panic.
standard conversation: coworker: the customer called and requested reports A, B and C. me: oh. cool. coworker: ... me: oh, i mean...uh...is that something that we do here? coworker: yes. actually, more specifically, that's something that you do here. me: crap.
but the worst part about rotating to a new job is getting my new team used to my insane eating habits.
new team convo: coworker: what are you doing? me: eating pizza. coworker: ...didn't you just have lunch? me: dude, that was like a whole hour ago. coworker: ...have you seen a doctor about this?
old team convo: coworker: good morning! what are you eating for breakfast? me: spaghetti. coworker: cool.
it's a long process.
3. invisalign last month, i decided to get invisalign to straighten up my teeth. thought my grill could use a little work. while they are fairly invisible (no one's checking out my chompers that closely anyway) and not painful at all, i am extremely unhappy. why? because invisalign is a series of clear plastic forms that you wear on your teeth. all.the.time. EXCEPT when brushing your teeth or eating. they recommend you wear them 22 hours per day. waaaaaaaaaaaat? because i am a slow eater, it is physically impossible for me to eat enough to sustain myself for a whole day in less than two hours. now instead of constantly grazing throughout the day, i've taken to periodic binge eating. it's awful. i'm learning to snarf food like a rabid monkey.
4. photography class it's been over two years since i've had my digital SLR, so i figure now's a good time to figure out how to you know, use it. i signed up for a beginners class, and it's going well so far.
teacher: so, what are we working with here? me: um, this is a canon. teacher: what kind of canon? me: ...a digital canon. teacher: ...right. let's just move on, shall we?
5. hot yoga i've never done yoga before, so of course it makes sense to jump straight to yoga in a room kept at 110 degrees. despite the fact that my body is built for yoga like it's built for being stabbed in the head, i have found it to be fairly enjoyable. the studio i go to is not scary nor judgemental, nor run by militant yoga junkies wallowing in their own snooty condescension, which is a plus in my book.
so, that concludes my list of 5 things i've done this month. anyone else doing new things? i'm open to any and all suggestions for next month.