Sunday, February 20, 2011

week 2: disasters part II

ok.  i'm not dead.
quite the opposite, actually.  i have been continuing my streak of awful car issues and bringing terrible weather wherever i travel.  so i've been extremely busy, you see.

i'm currently in minneapolis for work.  the day i left philadelphia was very eventful.  i walked out of my apartment that morning, ready for the day and even a few minutes earlier than usual.  as i walked into my parking lot, i began to get confused. 
i am currently driving a rental, a yukon.  the biggest vehicle known to man.  it takes me 20 minutes to park.  and i have to use a ladder to disembark.  i can see the thing for miles.  but as i walked into my parking lot that morning, i did not see it.  concern set in.  then horrible realization.  my car had been towed.  from my own parking lot.

so awesome.

my lovely beautiful beloved roommate took me out to the tow lot to retrieve my stupid yukon.  as i walk up to the bullet proof metal fortress guarding the lot, i see that they have posted a 'credit cards accepted here' sign. 

me (relieved):  omg you guys take credit card, that's amazing.
tow truck guy:  naw, but the machine out there takes credit cards.
me (looking around):  ...machine?  what machine?
tow truck guy:  the one right there, on your left.
me:  sir, that's an ATM.
TTG:  yeah, that thing takes credit cards.  just stick your card in there.
me:  dude.  you're kidding, right?  that is not how ATMs work.  you know what, nevermind.  just take my cash.  i'm sure this is completely legit.

it turns out that my parking permit had somehow fallen off of my rearview mirror.  and, like the fine upstanding law-abiding citizens that they are, the tow truck people pounced and dragged the yukon off into the night. 

but it's ok, i tell myself.  soon i'll be in minneapolis, and i'll get to see lots of friends and eat lots of food. 

i get to the airport, and settle into my seat on the airplane.  the weather in minneapolis looks fairly mild, and i am excited.  we end up sitting on the runway for about 30 minutes, just hanging out.  no problem.  i'm staying positive.  the women next to me start discussing child birth in incredible detail, but i stubbornly refuse to be bothered.  then the guy sitting behind me opens a thing of hummus, and it manages to explode, arc over the seat, and rain down all over me.  all over my white sweater.  my white jacket.  in my hair.


we arrive in minneapolis, and i am exhausted.  i look like a homeless mess and smell like roasted garlic.  but i get back to being excited.  it's an incredible 40 degrees out, and i prance outside to the taxis.  the weekend is amazing, and i see lots of friends and eat lots of food.

and now?  it's blizzarding outside.  nearly a foot of snow is predicted to fall over the course of the night.  and the meetings that i flew in for are canceled. 

i'm adding "harbinger of atmospheric catastrophe" to my list of super powers.

i visited the BF in boston last weekend and he mentioned that he wanted to make some thank you cards.  a few months ago he broke his hand pretty severly while playing football, and couple friends helped him get to the hospital.  he had to get several pins in his hand, endure a cast and do some physical therapy, but he's back to fully functional now. 
so, using only a ralph lauren polo magazine ad, a swiss army knife and a glue stick, we set out to create four thank you cards. 

materials cropped
he's so sweet, right?  but then he insisted on incorporating the pins that were taken out of his hand. 

me: dude, that's gross.
BF: you mean awesome.
me: no, i mean gross. 
BF:  too bad.  it's happening.

here's what we ended up with:

umbrella card 1

what do you think?

i don't know if you guys knew this, but in addition to being a full time business school student, my BF also moonlights as a ralph lauren polo model, and spends his time lounging around horse races, hanging out with disembodied hands on his shoulder and using striped belts as slings.  no big deal. 

broken arm model

alright, enough yammering.  i hope everyone has a great week!



Ann said...

Oh you clever, clever people! What a priceless thank you card. Clearly it needs to be shared with the folks at laughingsquid,, or some such.

Enjoy your snow day and fingers crossed your return trip will be far less eventful.

btw, when the bf visits again, you two must make your way to Sunday School at Tria Cafe. I'm pretty positive you'll love it.

Anji* said...

Gosh, what en eventful couple of weeks you've had!

"harbinger of atmospheric catastrophe" LOL. Honestly, I can hardly keep up with all the weird weather you keep telling us about!!

The cards are funny, gross and sweet at the same time!

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