Thursday, November 4, 2010

a hippo story

today i want to tell you a story. but there are a few things that you need to know before i start telling you said story.
fact #1: i work with awesome people.  hilarious, crazy awesome people.  so hilarious and awesome in fact, that every single one of my 5 roommates in the past two years have been people i work with.
so, to recap: people = awesome

fact #2: at work, we've had a series of meetings this week that have involved our entire sales region.  our region director sits in these meetings, account managers fly in from across the country, and we've spent the past two weeks prepping.
recap: big, important meetings this week

fact #3: no one likes meetings.
recap: meetings = suck

ok, let's begin.

a group of us were driving to dinner one night, the night before my roommate's presentation.  general meeting sentiments were expressed and sighs of resignation grumbled.  then we decide, well, why not do something to entertain ourselves during the meetings?  enthusiastic agreement.  ok, like what?  to which the roommate responds with,"what if i work in a random word into my presentations tomorrow?"  more enthusiastic agreement.  so then i blurt out the first word that comes to mind.

"hippopatomus."
"what?  where??"
"no, i think you should work the word hippopatomus into the presentation tomorrow."
"ok.  done."

his presentation topic was yogurt.  hippos don't eat yogurt.  this did not seem to faze the roommate. 

the next day, we all file into the meeting room and assemble in anticipation.  the roommate begins his rundown of the yogurt business, and we wait.  he details the baseline trends, and we wait.  he outlines the merchandising strategy, and we wait.  then he pauses, very casually tosses his presentation notes aside and begins to discuss segment performance.  those of us that had been involved in the discussion the night before perk up surreptitiously. 
he begins to address the greek segment.

"we have all seen the powerhouse that the greek segment has been, and we have to be aware of the strong competition we face.  we are all in the river right now.  a river in africa.  we are surrounded by fierce crocodiles.  we can see their teeth as they come closer."  he turns and faces the audience assembled before him.  the room is silent.  people are transfixed.  my lower jaw has fallen off of my face at this point.

he pauses dramatically, then continues.

"but," he asks urgently, "what do we know to be the most dangerous creature in africa?"
and then, in a moment that really should have been captured on film, everyone yells: THE HIPPOPOTAMUS!

"YES!" the roommate exclaims triumphantly.  "exactly right!  and so it is the HIPPOPOTAMUS that we must beware of!"

he then sits down to thunderous applause. 

now.  how on earth everyone knew that hippos were dangerous is beyond me.  i had no idea. 
i am laughing so hard i can barely breathe, and by the time i leave the meeting, tales of the roommate's epic rebuttal to the hippo challenge have filtered throughout the building. 
other teams have vowed to top it, and i'm excited.  meetings will never be boring again.


as for crafts on the paper front, i have been very discouraged.  i have been attempting mini origami all week, and it makes me feel like a giant ogre.  if any of you magical elves are reading this and looking for employment, please contact me.  let's talk.  i can offer an extremely competitive benefits package.
pile o' mini stars


 look at what else i crammed into a mini glass vial!

that's right!  an entire mini plant!

ok, off to pack.  going to north carolina this weekend!  and i get to see the BF!  hooray!

8 comments:

Ann Martin said...

The writers for Mad Men couldn't have done it any better than the roomie! Your teeny stars and plant are adorable.

SAR-rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-roma-rome-ma-ma-gaga-oo-la-la said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
SAR-rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-roma-rome-ma-ma-gaga-oo-la-la said...

Good thing I wasn't there...because you can only guess what creature I would have yelled :).

And as far as hippos I tried to hug two of them at the San Diego zoo. They looked as friendly as the koalas bears. Who knew hippos were dangerous?

SAR-rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-roma-rome-ma-ma-gaga-oo-la-la said...

And I'm pretty sure hippos would eat yogurt if you gave it to them. They'd even eat the crappy gritty tar wax tasting kind of Greek yogurt.

BellsInSpires said...

@Ann - the roommate COULD NOT have been more flattered by your comment. he strutted around all week. i am going to have to do some major ego checking to mitigate your glorious compliment! hah! ;)

@sarah - only you would try to hug a hippo. the same girl who tried to cram a baby croc into her purse in florida.

Shay Fan said...

That. Is. Epic.

Now I must issue similar challenges to coworkers.

Also, how did you shove a mini plant in that teeny bottle? I want!

Anji* said...

Great story, love it!

We don't have big meetings at work, which has always suited me very well, now I'm almost disappointed!

I always love your miniature efforts, I love mini anything too.. wow you really are going mini now!!

esther said...

the mini plant is awesome!!
and i'm glad the craft fair went well. love looking at your stuff :)

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