Thursday, July 29, 2010

planes, trains and automobiles...and hotels...

so, i don’t really think that i can say that i’m a professional procrastinator because that seems to imply that i am either really good at it (and how exactly can you be good at procrastinating?) or that i get paid to do it (which would be awesome, but is currently untrue). i don’t know that i am even a chronic procrastinator. typically, i feel like i can pace myself fairly reasonably. but when i do procrastinate, i go big.

i am running on an average of four hours of sleep a night this week, which makes everyday activities seem overwhelmingly difficult or senselessly hilarious. it took me eight minutes last night to figure out how to turn on the shower.

the current sleep thieves in my life are: moving, traveling and the wedding guest book that I’m working on.

moving: i have a ridiculous amount of stuff for a single person, due to the fact that there are things that i just refuse to get rid of. my beloved red wagon, for instance. a chocolate fountain. my piano. a giant yellow plush dragon. i also have REAMS of paper that i’ve hoarded over the years, and i have big plans for all of them. someday. anyway, so my list of essentials is just a little longer than most normal human beings. which means moving is indescribably painful for me. but it’s all done now, so no need to dwell on that.

traveling/wedding guest book madness: i’m traveling for work this week, and then i fly straight to a wedding, which is fun, and i am excited. what is not fun or exciting is the fact that the wedding guest book required completion before i left for my trip. ideally. in reality, i was up until 3:30am the night before my departure papering the book casing and folding the text block like a maniac. i did discover the perfect book press though: a 50 pound bag of dog food, gloriously purchased from costco this past weekend. roark was PUMPED when he saw the bag come through the door. i’ve never seen a dog so excited before. although, if someone walked through my door carrying 50 pounds of spaghetti, or beef noodle soup, i’d be so excited i’d probably require sedation.

anyway, so obviously i didn’t finish the guest book before i left, which means that i’ve been spending the past two nights in my hotel room, surrounded by papers and thread, casing in the book. i felt like that shoemaker in that fairytale, except without the really helpful elves that would finish the work he started.

anyway, here's the invitation:

and here's how the book turned out:
taken on an airport seat at the chicago o'hare airport.
staging is for amateurs.

One of the things i enjoy about hotel rooms is the fact that hotel housekeeping always folds your toilet paper into a neat little triangle after they finish cleaning your room. last night, i came back to the room to find that housekeeping had very half-heartedly folded my toilet paper rolls into saggy little triangles, which i found inexplicably entertaining. (please see previous paragraphs for current mental state.) the toilet paper rolls looked almost ashamed to be there, so i decided to do something about that.

sad sad toilet paper rolls


I found this on how about orange, listed under "essential life skills."  this woman clearly knows what's up.


cbuswell said...

that's funny!! : )

Anji* said...

Always guaranteed a giggle here :)
I am plagued by sleep thieves too.. I wish we could have a few more hours in the day.. a couple more days in the week would be good too..
How cool are your folded toilet paper rolls?! I hope you left them like that for housekeeping to find!

Jessie said...

I am so doing that to the toilet paper next time I'm in a hotel. And I'm supremely jealous of your chocolate fountain. Ever tried dipping pineapple chunks in it? Sounds totally weird but it's SO GOOD.

geo said...

You're too funny! I showed the picture of your toilet paper rolls to Ted and we were both cracking up. Hope the move goes well! We can't wait to see you again.

BellsInSpires said...

hi jessie - no, i've never tried chocolate pineapple but it sounds DELICIOUS. i'll def add it to the list of things to eat.

Shay Fan said...

I need to know how to do that to toilet paper. Hotels that I visit will never be the same again!

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